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  • Good Code Exists

    A PHP programmer was begging on a street corner. With dirty clothing, extremely sad and distracted, was watching the ground. On the cardboard in front of him was written: "Help a poor PHP programmer".

    From time to time, a Java or C# developer would give him something.

    A Python programmer that happened to pass by, stopped, took the cardboard, wrote a few words, then left.

    Something amazing happened. Ruby, Groovy, C# and Java programmers were stopping, reading what was written and giving plenty of money, some of them with tears in their eyes, crying with deep sorrow. A pretty large crowd gathered around him, so the PHP programmer raised his eyes. He read the cardboard, and cried with a shriek from the bottom of his lungs, lungs of a despaired man, from his truly unfortunate state. Tears started flowing over his cheeks, faced now with the truth revealed to his soul, when he read the words:

    "Help a poor PHP programmer. I know good code exists, I just have never seen it."

    A Perl programmer, extremely dirty, with his ripped clothing, and disheveled hair also passed trough the crowd, bumping into people. Unfortunately no one discovered the meaning of the senseless words he was muttering, so they let him be, to continue his painful existence.

  • How Programming Languages Relate to Girlfriends

    C

    The simple girlfriend that doesn't really get you. Whenever you go to a new place, she doesn't want to go. Goes if you really insist, but causes a scene there.

    C++

    The borderline insane girlfriend. One mistake, and she goes bonkers. Tries to be friends with all of your friends, even if no one likes her.

    Python

    Your true love, but you know deep inside you two won't last. She's nice, but whenever you want something from her she's nowhere to be found.

    Java

    Boring as hell. You pity her and you think you should like her more. You just can't get yourself to do it. She keeps trying to make it work.

    C#

    The slightly prettier sister of Java, with all the mental issues of C++.

    PHP

    The beast from Beauty and the Beast. Reasoning with her is like talking with a grizzly bear.

    Perl

    She always hungers for human flesh. Congratulations, you're dating a zombie.

     

  • Migrate your Apache server to nginx on CentOS

    How do you migrate an existing Apache server, to a brand new nginx installation for several websites that use PHP? This is a simple tutorial into changing an Apache installation into a nginx one, without having to change your existing websites.

    nginx is a server that scales far better compared to apache running on the same hardware. The tutorial is not super CentOS specific, but all the commands were run on a CentOS.

    The Apache server that was migrated, namely this blog, has several virtual hosts, that are all running PHP, some of them Joomla websites. The plan is to take them as they are, and have them available externally the same way as before, using the same virtual host names, the same folder locations, with the same users assigned to them.

    The reason is that if we screw up something in the process, we can just revert to our old proven Apache, by just restarting the Apache service and shutting down nginx. Also we can minimize the downtime, since if done right it should be in the end just shutting down apache and starting nginx, but if it doesn't work we can quickly go back to serving the files with Apache until we figure out what is going on.

    While it is simple, it is a pretty long read, so grab your coffee, and hack away:

     1. Install nginx

    This is as simple as running:

    yum install nginx

    Make sure the /etc/nginx/conf.d/default.conf has the paths pointing to /var/www/html, or whatever was the default site for your Apache configuration. (In my case it was /var/www/blog).

    OK, next

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